Search
  • Max Price

BE A BANK SLUT


I’d been with the same bank in Melbourne since I got an account in 2004. I knew nothing different, I got fines I accepted it, I got fees I accepted it. That’s the way it is… And to think any differently was adultery. We even stand by our bank, I heard a friend even say “they treat me well.” “Have you been with any other bank?” “… No.” It’s like only ever having one boyfriend and that boyfriend is a cunt. There are so many better fish in the sea but how would you know?

So I’d been moseying around with my bank for 12 years, it was one of the big 4 but I don’t want to give it away in case they expose what I use to spend money on. I was blindfolded to what was out there and even boasted about banking with them. I'd bought a book called The Barefoot Investor recently, which by the way is now my fucking bible. He explains how you should always reconsider changing to whoever has the best offers.

Mate, too hard basket. I’ve gotta tell work, change direct debits, have that break up moment with my bank, cry and eat ice-cream while watching the notebook wondering why my bank hasn’t replied to my texts, these examples are getting stupid. Point is it’ll be more of a headache than what it's worth.

Oh how I was proved wrong… Opened up an account with a bank that has NO ATM FEES, no fees if you withdraw out of savings accounts and the most user friendly app I didn’t know existed.

It was one email with work, done. It was 3 direct debits (I’d forgot my password to Optus direct debit so that pissed me off), but done. I changed my BSB and Account number on my invoice template… Transferred all my cashola across, done. Um, done. Like completely done. That’s it. A new bank in literally a day or 2.

Why the fuck did I stay with one bank for so long, I was so loyal and committed when I really should have been a elusive slurry. I’ve never looked back. I had to go into my bank to close my final account in person and it was hilarious. It was like I was actually breaking up with someone, they were typing hard on the keyboard and refused to make eye contact with me haha. Fuck ‘em.

So I’m not even committed to the bank I’m with now, yes I’ve saved $100’s in fees and fines but as soon as there is something better I’m going to slut myself straight to them. They owe you nothing, don’t be loyal and don’t be proud of them. They are chauvinistic pigs that don’t deserve someone as pretty as you.  

While I've got you on the edge of your toilet seat. I'm really really wanting to try and get some people to subscribe to my email newsletter. Also, if you were to support me via Patreon you'd be an angel (And automatically become a member, getting exclusive content).


250 views

Contact

Follow

©2018 by Max Price.