• Max Price


The other week a mate of mine sent me an email that just set me off, I genuinely lost it. ‘The fucking nerve on this prick… Nah you know what, I will let them know he's a *#$@#$’.

It was imitate rage, bare in mind I’m the most non-aggressive person, couldn’t fight my way out of a wet paper bag. But how dare they not like my slam poetry so hence, I was seething and I of course began replying to this email, overthinking, bringing up things that I shouldn’t and just before I sent it I paused...

I remembered being given some advice. It talked about the dangers of knee-jerk reactions... The advice was simply don't reply pissed off... Kind of like don't send texts to ex-girlfriends when you're drunk...

In simple steps its, write it, sit on it, reassess it, send it! It was all about when angry you do and say irrational shit, so obviously, have that cooling off period before you send that irrational shit.

It’s great advice, I guess if you’re confronted face to face it might be harder to go “Okay, you just pissed me off but I’m going to walk away and discuss it later.”Actually that’s probably a good thing to do as well… Anyway, in texts, emails, Facebook messenger, ICQ, next time some fucking idiot annoys you try this;

  1. Give a middle finger to there profile photo. This is just your feel good moment, in the fuck them moment. There is no benefit and probably unhealthy to do.

  2. Open a word doc and write the ‘FUCK YOU’ reply. Don’t do it on email, text or messenger, that’s waaaay too dangerous. The send button is too close. This part is liberating, write without thinking, put it all out there! You'll feel better without the repercussions and maybe see things a little clearer all together. Save it and close it.

  3. Walk away and do something else for at least 2 hours minimum, longer the better. This will alleviate that intense ‘fuck you’ rage and brings you back down to a more level headed 'Ah, you're not that bad' mindset.

  4. After the cool off period, you should be pretty happy to delete or tame down that irrational rubbish on that word doc. If you still want to send it exactly that way you wrote it originally… Then wow they must have really pissed you off, send it, fuck 'em. But hopefully you re-write something a lot more professional and you live to fight another day without burning a bridge.

This is a good way of keeping healthy relationships with friends, co-workers, external clients and family because most of the time your initial reaction to infuriating comms is to bite back, and that helps no one... Even though they can be such fuckwits... BTW, if Sarah is reading this... God damn it I miss us, text me PLEASE!

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©2018 by Max Price.