CALL TO COMPLAIN
This is a weird one, it’s a life hack and kind of being a little bit of a dodgy prick at the same time. But you’re only being a dodgy prick to massive companies that are mostly dodgy pricks themselves.
The following might save you $100’s a year but also make you have a few stressful ‘let me speak with your manager’ phone calls.
It’s a sweet time where competitiveness in the market place has never been bigger. Brands selling the same shit are spending so much to be the market leader, they need you as a customer which means they’re giving us better deals all the time.
I read this article Richard Branson was banging on about how important retaining customers are, without customers you aren’t a business. Not that this shit is meant to be read by business folk. It’s essentially for my mates and punters having a crack that want/need these services. The only reason I bring it up is because you, the customer, have a lot more power than you think.
I remember attempting to cancel cable TV a few years ago. One of those ones where you flick through 38 channels in a row and go ‘This is all utter shit, I’m getting rid of it.’ I called up to innocently cancel only to have more than 50% of my monthly billing halved. I thought… I’ve done this innocently, what if I started applying this ‘calling to cancel/complain’ to a couple of other companies I’m donating my sweet coin to?
No shit, it worked most times. Yes, I feel like a fuckwit doing it and don’t do it very often but my phone, software subscriptions, car insurance and gym membership I’ve had success with getting bills reduced. I make myself sick because I don’t see myself as the complaining type, I even won’t complain when the masseuse is massaging me too hard because I’m such a coward. You know that moment when he or she whispers ‘Pressure okay?’ as they’ve got an elbow wedged 3 inches deep in between 2 vertebrates and for some fucking reason you immediately respond ‘yep’ while you’re clenching your whole body trying not to cry.
Like I said, they NEED you, you have options… Unless you’re in a 24 month phone contract, that’s robbery isn’t it?
Oh and by the way, while you’re on these calls, don’t swear, the second you swear they’re allowed to hang up. Dodgy pricks.
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